


The One Where Santa is a Creepy Stalker

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Music, Early in Canon, Ficlet, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mentions of Stalking, Santa Claus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8743402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: The gang listens to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and has concerns about Santa's stalking tendencies and unrealistic expectations for children.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the following prompt on otpprompts (http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/): Imagine person A pointing out how creepy the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is and that it makes Santa sound like someone who should be feared. Person B is sad because their childhood is now ruined.
> 
> This fic isn't set at a specific time, but it takes place during the early seasons in the show.
> 
> Personal note: My mom has an opinion of this song that is similar to Joey's, and my experience with this song is reflected through Monica (minus the sibling favoritism).

The gang was hanging out in the living room at Monica and Rachel’s apartment while Monica made Christmas cookies. A C.D. of Christmas songs was playing, and the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” came on.

“This song always creeped me out,” Joey said.

“What do you mean?” Rachel asked.

“It makes Santa sound like a weirdo. ‘He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake.’ You know what that is? A stalker!”

“Oh, Joey don’t say that,” Phoebe pleaded. “You’re ruining my childhood!”

“I mean, what else does he do?” Joey continued. “Does he watch you go to the bathroom too?”

Chandler scrunched his nose. “You have a very warped mind, Joey Tribbiani.”

Monica put a tray of cookies in the oven. “I know what he means, though. ‘You better watch out, you better not pout, you better not cry.’ Way to set unreasonable standards for a child.”

Joey nodded and pointed, glad that someone agreed with his point of view. Phoebe shook her head, upset that Monica had joined in. “You guys are both ruining my childhood!” Rachel patted Phoebe’s shoulder while the others remained oblivious.

“This song made me paranoid as a kid,” Monica added. “Of course, it didn’t help that Santa always liked Ross better.”

“Yeah, but there was the time you ate all of the cookies we left out for Santa,” Ross teased. The others laughed.

“It was only one time!” When nobody paid attention to her, she pointed her spatula threateningly at the group. “Do any of you actually  _want_ Christmas cookies this year?” They quickly shut up, looking guilty and sheepish. Nobody wanted to be cut off from Monica’s delicious cookies. Monica turned around, ready to start another batch of cookies. “That’s what I thought,” she said smugly. A less contentious song played, and Phoebe decided to ignore the accusations Joey and Monica made against Santa, since they were clearly unfounded slander against a generous man.

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on my tumblr here: http://geckogirl89.tumblr.com/post/154013267150/the-one-where-santa-is-a-creepy-stalker


End file.
